Do Korean Dramas Distort Our Idea of Love?
What dramas show versus the true definition of love
Are you a fan of Kdramas?
If watching Korean dramas is your cup of tea, then I could definitely relate. I must have watched more than two hundred dramas already! There is something about the mood and the whole package of it all that helps me relax at the end of the day. The views are wonderful, many characters are likable, and the stories are interesting. They are able to combine lighthearted scenes with heartfelt moments that can tug at our hearts and make us cry. And I love the soundtracks that come along. I tried to learn some Korean so that I can understand the songs better.
Despite all these however, some people say that the way the lead characters are depicted make many people disillusioned when it comes to real life. The characters set a very high expectation when it comes to love that real people fail to live up to their standards.
How do they show these things? Some examples include small gestures of affection such as offering an umbrella when it rains, tying the shoelaces of their loved ones, or covering them lovingly with a blanket when it’s cold.
Are these impossible gestures? I don’t think so. Are they done in real life? Maybe. From what I observed, some people do even more. They stand by their loved ones through thick or thin. They take care of their partners when they get sick. They forgive each other from their faults. They carry on a whole lifetime of ups and downs together and raise their children the best way they could.
I think that if we should ever watch these dramas, we should first adjust our perspective. They are stories that may simply show what’s ideal and not always what is real. The people beside us may not do the exact loving gesture that they do, but they fulfill it in their own unique way. Somehow, however, it is good to see how we can love other people through the little things that could mean so much.
What I’m more concerned with are those few dramas that tend to encourage toxic behavior, especially from the male lead. I’m not going to name those dramas, but those who watch them would know what I’m talking about.
I’m pertaining to those dramas with rude male characters who exhibit not only annoying but very worrisome and even dangerous behavior towards their partners. They resort to bullying techniques just to gain the attention of those they profess to care about. They speak very disrespectfully, act immaturely and apply manipulative strategies just to get the female lead.
I must admit it. I hate these types of characters even more than I detest the true villains of the story. Why? Because villains were meant to be bad. Sometimes, they even have some background stories that help me understand them better.
But for a male lead character to do this and still win the heart of the female lead in the end? What in the world is that?
I’m not against arcs of redemption. I appreciate those stories that narrate the gradual development of characters once considered to be lost but have found their way and even became heroes in their own right.
However, when a story fails to show a character’s redemption properly, it gives people the idea that both love and forgiveness are cheap and you can get away with evil tricks. It encourages people to think that you can get what you want later without paying for the consequences of your actions.
To think that it’s way easier to immitate bad actions than good ones. People will forget about those nice little gestures of love and simply resort to the bullying, disrespect and manipulation thinking that they can easily get what they want.
When people believe this, not only would the men get the wrong idea. Women may also think that it’s attractive when a man acts this way. They would question their own sense of right and wrong and even blame themselves for being too sensitive when they become the real-life victims of such men.
Forgiveness is good. Redemption is Christian. But tolerance of toxic and harmful behavior is totally out of line.
Arrogance and rudeness should never be traits that anyone should ever find attractive. What is truly attractive is patience, kindness and humility.
No one should ever fall for possessiveness and emotional manipulation. Even though the real people in our lives may have their faults, we should be on the lookout for red flags of an abusive relationship.
The Bible has long given us an idea of what true love is like. Let us never forget what it truly means to love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 NABRE
Jocelyn Soriano is the author of the book Mend My Broken Heart:
