Have We Forgotten the Power of Kind Words?
Finding hope in an age of rudeness
Rudeness seems to rule much of the world’s daily conversations in recent times.
In my article, “Are We Living in an Age of Rudeness?” I wrote how we seem to live in an age where it is natural to hear harsh words being said. Many times, they are even applauded.
I don’t know what it is about rudeness that made it almost synonymous to being truthful today. When someone speaks respectful words, people could quickly suspect one as being a hypocrite. On the other hand, when you are rude, you seem to appear as a brave and honest person.
But what we seem to forget is the power of kind words.
Despite all the bad things that have been happening, kindness still matters. And the way we speak to each other can affect our very own hearts.
The book “Kindness” by Father Frederick William Faber has a very good discussion about kind words. It clearly illustrates how these words have the ability to change our lives by changing our hearts.
Here is an excerpt from the book:
“Kind words make us happy in ourselves. They soothe our own irritation...they draw us nearer to God, they raise the temperature of our love. They produce in us a sense of quiet restfulness like that which accompanies the consciousness of forgiven sin. They shed abroad the peace of God within our hearts...We become kinder by saying kind words...They help us also to attain the grace of purity…”
“Kind words make us truthful because ‘kindness is God’s view, and His view is already the true view.’ We yearn to be truthful, for ‘it is our insincerity, our manifold inseparable falseness, which is the load under which we groan.’”
Kindness then does not drive us away from honesty. It leads us instead to truthfulness.
We are not being true if we refuse to be sincere. And it is often our insincerity that leads to our rudeness.
Rather than being honest with ourselves, we hide behind harsh words. We don’t want to acknowledge the whole truth, and so we speak without thinking deeply. We take a shortcut, and along the way, we wound the hearts of those who hear.
“With their mouths the godless would destroy their neighbors,
but by knowledge the righteous are delivered.”
-Proverbs 11:9 (NRSVCE)
We need to practice being kind again.
And we can start by saying kind words.
Let us not think that we are being hypocrites when we are making an effort to be kind. Let us instead think that we are striving to be good, and even though it is difficult, we choose to start by being humble and kind.
Clever words can only take us so far. It may win for us an argument, but we can’t expect to win another person’s change of heart.
Kindness has the power to enter gently into another person’s heart. Through kindness, we can let truth tread gently until it is received fully.
“I find myself always talking about happiness when I am treating of kindness. The fact is the two things go together; the double reward of kind words is in the happiness they cause in others and the happiness they cause in ourselves. The very process of uttering them is a happiness in itself.” - Frederick William Faber
“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
May I Be Gentle
May I be gentle as I speak
May I be meek
Let my words not break
A soul so frail.
May I be gentle as I hear
May I be tender
Let me not condemn
A heart already burdened.
May I be gentle as I move
May I be careful
Let me not hurt
A weakened man.
May I be like You, O, Jesus
May I be gentle
Like a mother so sweet
And so tender with her child.
Jocelyn Soriano is the author of Mend My Broken Heart, Questions to God and 366 Days of Compassion. She also writes about relationships and the Catholic faith at Single Catholic Writer.
See Jocelyn's books from other digital stores.
You may also want to read my article on Patheos:
“Are We Living in an Age of Rudeness?”
