How Do You Stay Good When Other People Are Bad?
A reflection about one of the hardest teachings of Jesus
Have you ever wondered why it seems so hard to be a good person?
Deep inside, you know you don’t want to do anything bad. But what if the people around you keep on tempting you to do so? How do you stay good even when other people are bad?
As Christians, one of the main teachings we find in the Gospels is to not return evil for evil.
“But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also…”
- Matthew 5:39 (NRSVCE)
And while we may always argue that this should not be taken in a literal way, we must read the other verses surrounding it:
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer… and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.” - Matthew 5:38, 40-42 (NRSVCE)
Clearly, Jesus wants us to stay good… even when other people are bad!
This is such a hard teaching, however. In theory, we may all agree. But when it comes to real-life scenarios, most of us struggle to do what we’ve been taught.
It is there whenever you feel the urge to speak back when someone has offended you one way or the other. It is there whenever you are tempted to put to shame someone who embarrassed you in front of your closest friends. And it is there whenever you want to make someone pay for ruining your reputation.
It isn’t easy being good. And it’s almost impossible for most of us to stay good when other people are bad.
When was the last time you saw someone keeping his silence instead of letting an argument become worse? When was the last time you saw a fellow believer apologize even if he or she wasn’t at fault?
Sometimes, the temptation comes in the form of trying to convince others that we are good.
We become harsh in our words because our pride was hurt. But we justify our behavior under the guise of fighting for what is right.
Tell me how do you fight evil? Is it by being evil also?
If you are ever tempted to fight evil with evil, pause for a moment and pray.
Let the gentleness of God speak to your heart and shield you from unrighteous anger.
Remember that you don’t have to convince anyone that you are right.
Even if all the world believes you to be guilty, you should not lose your peace. They are not the ones you need to please. Think about God and all the angels and saints who witness every little moment of your life.
Do not think that the evil that needs to be conquered is always outside of you.
You may win an argument, put to shame the unrighteous or even send to prison the one who caused you harm. But if, along the way, you ruin your own soul, then how could goodness overcome what is evil?
God loves you and is concerned about your good. He wants you to shine with virtues that no one could ever take away from you.
Why disappoint Him who wants you to remain good?
Never leave His presence. Never sacrifice the beauty of your soul. Be good and stay good. Remember that’s what your Beloved One asks of you.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. - Matthew 5:43-48 (NRSVCE)
“If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.” – Helen Burns (Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë )
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Such a great article, Jocelyn! And so true! I love how real you write.
Yes, that is one of the biggest challenges! I had an experience yesterday where I was “tested” in exactly this. I still have a lot to learn from Jesus...