The Kind of Love That Heals
“Only love heals, and My love in you shall heal many.” — Bo Sanchez, Embraced
I used to think that love is all we need to heal other people’s hurts. I used to think that if we could only love others more, we’d have the power to change other people’s lives for the better.
But why is it that after giving everything we could, we are still met with pain and frustration? Why is it that after so many years of trying to prove our love, wounds are still hurting and people remain unchanged?
Can’t love really heal our hurts?
“My daughter (son), you are not yet a strong and prudent lover. Because you abandon what you have begun at every little adversity which you encounter, and too eagerly seek consolation.” —The Imitation of Christ by Thomas Kempis
How strong must we be? How persistent must our love be? In our exhaustion, we say in defeat that our love could never be strong enough. If the only hope for healing left is love, then it couldn’t be the kind of love that we have. Our love is not the kind of love that heals.
What then is the love that heals?
“But God commends his own love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, WEB-BE)
Only God’s love can. For in truth, God Himself is love
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only born‡ Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life.” ( John 3:16, WEB-BE)
All our greatest strivings fall short of God’s perfect love for us, a love that is sufficient unto itself and neither needs nor asks for anything in return.
Who among us could love like Him unless He empowers us to do so?
God’s Unconditional Love
Have you ever wondered how only God can love us unconditionally? It’s because only God is perfect and doesn’t need anything from us.
We can’t love like that. Our love, however good is still conditional. We want something in return because we are not perfect, and we try to get from others what we lack.
We expect something back — the praise of the one we love, the feeling that we’re needed, the fulfillment of our childhood ideals, the thought of being protected, the satisfaction of having someone who witnesses our lives.
Maybe this is the reason why Jesus told us to love God first. After all, it is a command that allows us to receive God’s love for us, to be so embraced and comforted that we couldn’t ask for anything more.
In that way only, can we love others as God has loved us.
This kind of love is therefore not waiting for any condition or reward from other people.
This love is also not boastful, self-righteous or looking down upon another person because it knows that whatever love it can give has come not from itself but from God, like the moon reflecting only the light cast upon it by the sun.
A love that heals
God’s perfect love is the kind of love that heals. Whether we receive it directly or through the people He chooses to help us along the way, only God’s love has the power to change us and to heal our hurts.
If we are to be channels of His love, we must stop relying upon our own strength and goodness and begin tapping unto God’s endless reserve of mercy, power, and grace.
Know God’s love and how different it is from the kind of love that failed us in the past.
God’s love is:
1. Benevolent
God’s love is like the sun. Even without our appreciation, even without our gaze, it just keeps shining. God’s love needs no permission nor recognition in order to shine through and give its warmth to all. Only He has that kind of benevolence.
The only way we could somehow imitate such benevolence is when we’re able to connect to God. When we’re filled with His goodness, we’re able to give the same to others without expecting anything in return.
2. Strong
God’s love is so strong that even if we fail Him again and again, His love remains steadfast and unaffected by our changing desires.
His love is also strong enough to join us not only in our happiness but even in our pain.
It is not afraid to see us in our weakness and our failures. It is strong enough to allow us to make mistakes, to hurt, and to learn from them.
How very different indeed from our human love that expects outright perfection from one another. We’re afraid to feel our loved one’s pain and so we meddle with their decisions and keep them from being responsible for their own lives.
3. Trustworthy
We know God has no hidden agenda and only has our highest good in mind. He never lies to us and His words can be counted upon.
How different it is with people who often lie to us and betray us, people who keep us guessing whether they really love us or only care about themselves.
For those of us who have been hurt so deeply that we find it so difficult to trust again, only God’s love heals because it may just be the only love we’d be able to trust for the time being.
4. Respectful
God respects our free will and does not force us to do His will even if it is far better than our desires. God is powerful but He does not manipulate us. God is everywhere but He doesn’t always reveal His presence if such will not be good for us.
With people, however, we often try to control others, especially our loved ones if we have come to believe that we know the best thing for them. We exert upon them our authority or even use emotional blackmail just so they would do what we want them to do.
We could always reason that we only intend the best for them. But could it be that we’re also depriving them to learn in their own way and time? Could it be that we’re just showing them how we can’t trust them to run their own lives?
God knows far better than we do and could surely accomplish a lot of things on His own, but He honors us by acknowledging the strength we have and what we can do for ourselves. He doesn’t want puppets who can do His will but who can’t appreciate and believe in His wisdom.
The kind of love that heals is the kind of love that respects the dignity of the person — one that is able to touch but not intrude, to help but not dishonor the person’s ability to help himself.
5. Wise
God’s love is filled with wisdom. It knows and does what the beloved needs, not what she wants if what she wants wouldn’t be good for her in the long run.
We, in turn, may be tempted to merely please other people. We think that by always doing everything others wanted us to do, we’re already loving them.
A love that heals is never blind. It sees beyond what the person asks. It responds to what a person really needs.
6. Gentle
God’s love is so gentle that it could touch us in our frailty without causing us farther harm. Other people’s love may seem strong, but unless gentleness is present also in that strength, we may feel threatened or even afraid to receive it.
In times when we can’t even look up and extend our arms, what we need is a quiet love that merely shelters us in our moment of need, like a tree that provides just enough shade to protect us from too much rain or sun.
“Love is patient and is kind. Love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil…” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5, WEB-BE)
7. Infinite
God’s love is infinite. There’s always something new to discover, something fresh to surprise us and to keep us waiting for His presence. He could never bore us for there is no end to knowing Him. The more we know about His love, the more we yearn to comprehend His greatness.
One reason why many relationships fail is that people also fail to grow. If we really wish to offer the best for our loved ones, we should constantly seek to improve ourselves.
8. Unchanging
God’s love comforts us because His love remains the same. He is as reliable now and in the future as He had been in the past.
It is true that there is always something new to discover about Him, but He does not take back what He has already revealed about Himself.
“For I, the LORD, don’t change…” (Malachi 3:6, WEB-BE)
9. Beautiful
The beauty of God’s love is so alluring that it gives us joy. Can we ever find something more beautiful than His love?
The kind of love that heals is a love that is given out of the beauty of one’s heart, not out of one’s fears, guilt or emptiness.
10. Eternal
We may not be able to count the number of times we wept because the love we thought we’d always have suddenly faded. Separation, abandonment, and death broke our hearts and we couldn’t understand why something so beautiful had to end.
In truth, the love that we have right now is only a foretaste of the greater love we’d enjoy in eternity. With God’s love, we need never be afraid anymore because His love is eternal and has no end.
“For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from God’s love which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”(Romans 8:38–39, WEB-BE)
God’s love is above all
Such is the greatness of God’s love that has been made available to all. Let us not expect from people what we can only expect from God.
Only God’s love is infinite, wise and trustworthy. His LOVE shall never fail!
Here’s a preview of the contents
What Can God Do With My Broken Heart?
When you feel broken
You are God’s beloved
You can trust His wounded heart
When God looks at you
When you look at Jesus
To forgive and to let go
Will you ever smile again?
Questions to God
What is God Doing in Times When He is Silent?
What Is Heaven Like?
Where Is God When I Cry Out In Pain?
Why Is My Cross Heavier?
How Do I Carry My Cross?
Why Can’t We Receive God’s Blessings?
How Do I Know God Loves Me When I Can’t Even See His Face?
Is It Possible To Love an Invisible God?
If God Will Provide for Our Needs, Why Are so Many People Hungry?
How Do You Reconcile God’s Infinite Love and the Existence of a Frightening Hell?
If God is Loving, How Could He Allow So Much Suffering?
Have You Ever Felt Afraid of God?
Why Can’t We Always Feel God’s Love?