The Role of Single Women Amidst the Declining Number of Nuns
In my Patheos article “What Is Causing the Declining Number of Nuns?” I included several possible reasons for the drastic decrease in religious vocation for women. I also mentioned that in the end, only God knows the needs of our times and how best to fulfill it.
Considering that premise, is it possible that the dearth in the number of religious sisters can find a balancing remedy in the rising number of single women?
I am not proposing that the lay single state can replace the beautiful and profound calling of nuns. But God works in mysterious ways. And sometimes, what we can view as a problem is actually a wonderful opportunity in disguise!
First of all, let us try to differentiate the role of actual nuns versus religious sisters. While nuns spend their time in prayer in convents, sisters generally work actively in the world. Hence, the first is commonly referred to as being “contemplative” while the latter spends more time in “active” tasks.
We can easily see that the role of single lay women is closer to that of active religious sisters, although we can never fully know the possibilities that can find its way through faith and God’s grace.
Is it possible that some single women could have been nuns?
Some single women could still be nuns, while others could still be married. The question above refers to those single women like me who may already be in their forties or even later in life who have never married.
Is it possible that some of us may have discovered our calling late due to some impediments that held us back in doing so?
I know many single people who have devoted their time helping their families financially. Some have taken care of sick relatives. Others may have been busy assisting others for a good cause.
Later on, we get the chance to ask this question since many have asked it from us anyways.
“Why haven’t you become a nun?”
And the answer is of course not that easy to say.
Whatever happened in the past has already passed. All we can do today is act with the time give us. After all, if we truly had our “calling” back then, shouldn’t we have clearly heard it from God?
I remember what Fr. Mike once said. That if God wants us to do something, He will certainly make it clear to do so. He will not give us confusing thoughts nor make us rely on vague signs from heaven.
A calling is a calling. And now what matters is where we are being called today.
Filling in the gaps
What single women may have much that other people don’t is “time”. St. Paul wasn’t wrong when he advised virgins to remain unmarried. We single people have the time and opportunity to devote themselves to God and to serving our neighbors.
Can we fill in the gaps left by the lack of religious sisters? We’ll never truly know. But I would like to believe that whatever we may do out of love for God and others will always be meaningful. It may or it may not fill the gap left by the decline in women religious, but we have our unique calling and it is up to us to respond.
How do we respond to our calling?
It used to hurt me whenever Church people say that no one is called to the single life. In my mind, I’m wondering, “If no one is called to the kind of life I have today, then have I missed my calling? Or wasn’t I called at all?”
The truth is that I believe I was called by God. It may not be that specific call to live a single life, but it is the call to live a life of holiness and love.
In my article “When God Called Me To Be a Writer”, I told the story of my life and how I got to realize His call for me to write for the sake of the Good News.
More importantly, God called me to greater intimacy with Him. He called me by name, He called me His beloved, and in the end, He is also calling me to be His Spouse.
Perhaps to others, only nuns are called to such a high calling. But are not all Christians called to be the Bride of Christ?
Our task in the world today
I would like to believe that there is a good reason behind the rise of single lay women in the world today. While each of us have our own story, we are all being called to do something great for God in that part of the world where we are.
As the world becomes more and more secular, we can be witnesses of God’s love and salvation in our daily lives. We can be models of chastity in a world that has forgotten what it even means. And we can be emblems of deep, true and lasting joy in a world where happiness is as fleeting as each flick of the screen.
People may no longer visit Churches nor monasteries. But God intends to walk and reach out to them where they are.
Yes, sisters with habits may now be few. But we single women, who are walking in the world today are many. We can bring God right where they never expected Him to be, bringing His healing to comfort those who grieve, His freedom to all who are imprisoned and His light to all who walk in darkness.
You may also want to read:
Why We Should All Love With a Single Heart
The word single has many connotations today. Ordinarily, we hear it when people ask why someone is not yet married. It seems to refer to people like me who have not entered either marriage or the religious life. But I have learned that the word “single”
Jocelyn Soriano writes about the single life and her Catholic faith at Single Catholic Writer. She is currently single and happy and she would like everyone to know how happy we can be by drawing close to the love of God!
She is the author of To Love an Invisible God, Defending My Catholic Faith and Mend My Broken Heart.
Yes, the points you made are very true. I've met consecrated women and have noticed the amount of time they are able to devote to their community. No attachments, just complete service to their parish and neighbors. I admire that very much and do gravitate towards that simple kind of life.
Well said. I agree. Even as a widow can I stay single to do what God called me to do. People kept asking me why I never remarried after I became a young widow. It's simple. It was not my calling.