What Are The Signs You’re Expecting Too Much From People?

How to tell and what you can do for your relationship

Being a single person, many people thought I had unreasonable expectations in dating someone. Some of my friends even joke that I may be looking for a perfect person and that no one may ever qualify to be my boyfriend.

The truth is that I do have high standards in dating. I look for someone responsible and family-oriented. I look for someone who fears God and who values his Catholic faith. I can’t just close my eyes and date anyone even if I feel they’re not going to be a good father to my children.

But I do understand where my friends’ concerns are coming from. It is very possible to have unrealistic expectations about someone. Many times, this is the very reason for a lot of heartbreaks and failed relationships.

If you’re having a tough time in your relationship right now, you may also ask yourself if you’re expecting too much from the other person. Could it be that your expectations are adding additional burdens and pressures to your relationship?

Here are just some of the signs you may be expecting too much from your special someone:

1. Expecting the other person to read your mind

Have you ever thought that the other person should have known exactly what you were thinking? Have you been disappointed because he or she failed to act in such a way that you wanted them to behave?

It may be that you were expecting a certain gift or preparation for your birthday and your loved one failed to give it to you. It may also be that you’re feeling sad and you expected the other person to notice quickly but you received no special attention in return.

This is one of the most common roots of misunderstanding. When you expect other people to read your mind, you’ll always be disappointed.

2. Being overly disappointed with the other person’s faults

It is natural to choose people with certain character traits such as being responsible, prayerful, or patient. But even people with such traits can sometimes experience times when they somehow act out of character for one reason or the other. It may be that something tragic has suddenly happened in their lives. It could also be that they’re undergoing a major change in life.

There are times when they may fail to show you the kind of love they have always shown. They may arrive late on your dates, fail to ask you about your day, or simply utter a word that seemed too careless for them to say.

If you take every fault to heart and count it against the other person without considering your loved one’s situation, you may be expecting too much from your special someone.

3. Demanding too much time from the other person

One of the signs that you’re expecting too much from your date is when you’re asking for too much time to spend together. While it’s understandable that you should prioritize your relationship, you shouldn’t ask more than what is needed from the other person.

Even if a person loves you very much, he or she also has other things to take care of in life. One may need to spend time on a new project at work. If one is still studying, then it is natural to spend time in research or doing one’s assignments. A person also has a family that may need one’s attention from time to time.

Demanding that your partner spend every available moment with you is to expect too much from the other person.

4. Expecting your special someone to satisfy all your emotional needs

You chose to date or to have a relationship with a person because that person satisfies your need to love and to be loved. That person makes you feel special and valuable. You also have someone to talk to and to share your dreams with. When you feel down, you have someone who can listen to you and even make you laugh.

But to expect the other person to satisfy all your emotional needs is unrealistic. No one person, no matter how kind that person is can meet all that you need in life.

Setting The Right Expectations

To avoid undue pressure in your relationships, you must learn to adjust your expectations. You must accept the fact that although you are very valuable to your loved one, you cannot expect the other person to be perfect. Even if there are things you can do for your relationship, it doesn’t mean that other people can also do those things for you.

Here are some tips to help you adjust your expectations with your partner:

1. Communicate properly

Instead of expecting the other person to be a mind-reader, try to communicate your thoughts properly. If you need something from your partner, convey your needs clearly. If you want to change something, discuss it with your partner. You need to develop good communication skills to avoid misunderstandings in your relationships.

2. Forgive

Your partner may have the best of intentions, but even the best of intentions can fail due to our human limitations. Learn to forgive. Forgiveness is like a good lubricant that reduces the friction in your relationships. It sets you free from past mistakes and grudges. It paves the way for healing.

3. Have other friends

To reduce the pressure from your romantic relationship, you need to keep a healthy support system in the form of family and friends. This will help you enjoy many things you can’t always enjoy with your partner. You can have sports, hobbies and other activities that will not demand extra time from your special someone. In this way also, you will not ask your partner to share all of your other interests in life. You will have other people who can do this and who will be with you in life.

4. Pray more

God is the only one who can be with you 24 hours a day. He is the only one you can talk to whenever you need to cry your heart out or unload your worries for the future. Talk to Him. Don’t demand things from people that only God can possibly give.

5. Take care of yourself

Sometimes, the reason we’re expecting so much love from people is that we have failed to love ourselves the right way. It’s not selfish to take good care of yourself. When you love yourself, you also become more capable of loving other people.

Spend some quiet time in a relaxing environment. Eat your favorite food. Go shopping once in a while. Don’t depend your happiness on just one person. You can also find many things that can make a positive impact on your life.

Final Thoughts

If there is one thing that could disappoint you, that would be expecting too much from people. This includes the very person with whom you share your heart. No matter how much your partner loves you, that person could not possibly satisfy all your needs.

Set the right expectations for your relationships. Spend time with yourself and with other people who love you. Don’t forget to pray and remember the only One who can understand the innermost desires of your heart.

Let your loved one be free from too much expectation. This will create a space for more love to grow in its own beautiful time.

Mend My Broken Heart

“No matter how much we want to, there is no magic formula in healing a broken heart. There is no time-frame also. What we need is to know that our suffering is not meaningless, that the love we have given was never wasted, and that somewhere beyond all our pain, there is hope, hope that could help us endure the hurt we’re going through.”

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