Why Do We Say That Love Is Patient?
Reflections on the very first word that defines love
“In your patience you shall possess your souls.”
-Luke 21:19, DRA
Losing My Temper
I once had a conversation over the Internet that made me lose my temper. I must admit it. I’m not the type with the most patience, especially when I get caught by surprise by other people’s unexpected behavior. But I have noticed something. I have noticed that people tend to be more rude over the Internet than at real life (at face-to-face encounters).
I don’t know why. Maybe there is a sense that whatever one says over the virtual world doesn’t really exist, that it isn’t quite real. Maybe there is a sense of being able to get away with it easily because you can choose to not use your real name or because you can just turn off your device or block people instantly and never get to encounter them again.
Whatever it may be, I hope we can still be courteous and respectful of others even if we are not able to see them face to face. We may be able to get away with what we say for a while, but we can never get away from who we are. We are the very witnesses to the things we say and whatever we say shapes the kind of person we become.
Love Is Patient. But What Does It Mean?
Love is patient. Patience is the very first description of love. But how many of us still know what patience really is? What is patience amidst an impatient world where everything is promised to be done within a click of a button? We can rarely put up with the word. We don’t know how to wait anymore. We want to have the things we want right here, and right now. Otherwise, we feel frustrated, and we quickly lose our hope as though we could never attain them anymore.
Patience is waiting with hope.
Patience is also forgiving one another’s lapses, knowing that we are not perfect either. Patience is being able to persevere from day to day, putting up with the smallest of tasks, not being defeated by little inconveniences.
“Being patient … This does not mean being sad. No, no, it’s another thing! This means bearing, carrying the weight of difficulties, the weight of contradictions, the weight of tribulations on our shoulders…This is a process – allow me this word ‘process’ – a process of Christian maturity, through the path of patience. A process that takes some time, that you cannot undergo from one day to another: it evolves over a lifetime arriving at Christian maturity. It is like a good wine. ” – Pope Francis
“Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, GNT
Reflections on How to Be Patient
It’s easy to say that we should be patient because God has been patient with us.
But we may argue that we have not been as bad as those around us who have offended and harmed us.
We can also say that we are quite ignorant of how God has truly been patient with us, and how we have offended Him.
But aren’t others guilty of the heavier offense? Where is justice then?
How do we reconcile all these?
It is like Job saying, “I am a righteous man, why do I suffer like this?”
When we think about it, there is none who is more righteous than Jesus, and there is also none who suffered like He did!
We, as followers of Jesus will also suffer like He did.
We can’t find the justice we want here on earth.
But then we are told that we should rejoice! Why?! Not because we can see justice being fulfilled in this world, and not because we are happy with the evil being done. But because we have been deemed worthy to suffer for Jesus and like Jesus, and have a great reward in heaven!
Love is not happy with evil.
Love is not happy with injustice.
But love hopes. Love continues to believe. Love endures. And in the end, love will succeed.
It is for this mercy that we are thankful for.
And it is this mercy that we can give away.
We give the same patience that God has given to the world – of putting up with people to their very last breath, until the very last moment they can be saved.
And since we are not God, we don’t know everything in a person’s life. We don’t know if they will change or when they will change. We don’t know how much they may be punished for their sins. We just trust that God is just and that He knows everything. So we put vengeance upon His hands.
To be patient is to trust God and to love Him.
To be patient is to allow God to save us and to guard our hearts from evil.
To be patient is to not lose hope and to fix our eyes upon our true joy, upon eternity.
To be patient is to understand God’s love for us.
One of the most difficult things in dealing with patience is the thought that God is not loving us anymore, that He has forsaken us, and that He has favored those who made us suffer.
We just have to believe that this is not true.
God is patient and merciful even with the damned and the fallen angels. God’s love is the same love Jesus carried upon the cross just to save us.
On Being Patient
Being patient does not mean one is weak.
It doesn’t mean one becomes happy by being abused.
It doesn’t mean one forgoes justice.
But it means that one is strong enough
with the love of Christ
and desires mercy for those who sin
and are still lost.
It means having a firm hope
that justice will triumph in due time,
and no evil could escape the Hand of God.
It means being able to look at all things
within the light of Jesus’ resurrection,
and with that light,
we find a joy that never falters
no matter the sorrows
along the way.
God’s Patience With Us
“God is patient and gentle with us because He knows how quickly we bleed.”
“Like a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him.
For he knows how we are made.
He remembers that we are dust.”
-Psalm 103, WEBBE
God can be patient with us first of all because of the greatness of His love. He is love Himself, He is patience Himself. He created us in love and imprinted upon us His own image, an image of love.
When sin corrupted that image, God also knew how far we have fallen from holiness and perfection.
He knows our weaknesses and our ignorance. He understands our pain. He knows how hard we try and how often we fail.
This does not exempt us from sins we are well aware of, however. (Jesus often criticized those who were hypocrites, those who deny their sins.)
Yet even with these He still had patience with. Up to our very last breath, God bears with us, for He knows that we are but dust. We are not like the fallen angels who are spirit and who knew far more than we do about God.
Let us treat our fellowmen the same way, with great patience, and remembering too, that we know not what’s in the heart of another, for only God can weigh the human heart.
Following is a quote from Tertullian regarding God’s patience:
He did not wrangle or cry aloud; neither did anyone hear His voice in the streets; a bruised reed He did not break, a smoking wick He did not quench.
He did not force one who was unwilling to stay close to Him; He scorned no one's table or dwelling; in fact, He ministered personally to His disciples by washing their feet.
He did not despise sinners or publicans, He showed no anger even toward that city which refused to receive Him, even when the disciples wished fire from heaven to fall upon such a shameful town; He healed the ungrateful, yielded to His persecutors.
More than this, He even kept in His company the one who would betray Him… even when He is betrayed… 'He does not open His mouth any more than does a lamb in the power of its shearer'--He who could have had if He wished, at a single word, legions of angels from heaven to assist Him did not approve of an avenging sword on the part of even one of His disciples.
The Value of Patience
“But patience, beloved brethren, not only, keeps watch over what is good, but it also repels what is evil.” - St. Cyprian
Three Things to Remember on the Value of Patience:
-It keeps us from hurting other people, especially those we love most.
-It keeps us from doing things we’d regret later on.
-It helps us wait for the fulfillment of our dreams instead of quitting too soon or giving up before we reap the rewards of our efforts.
To be patient is to be strong – strong enough to hope, to persevere, to love.
“Hope is practised through the virtue of patience, which continues to do good even in the face of apparent failure…” – Deus Caritas Est
Patience is linked to humility, to admit that we don’t know everything and we may be wrong in judging our neighbor. This humility also acknowledges our shortcomings. We try to understand others because we know that we are also imperfect.
Patience is linked to mercy, for by mercy we never wish to humiliate or punish others who are not yet fully aware of their sins.
Patience is linked to faith in God, believing that He is just and merciful and He sees everything.
Patience helps us avoid many evils such as unjust anger that may cause us to say words or to commit actions we’d only regret later on.
Patience helps us avoid despair and thereby strengthens our hope, allowing us to make the right decision and course of action rather than acting rashly and recklessly.
Patience helps build our relationships that constantly need forgiveness and understanding.
“God is fully capable of being the trustee of our patience: if you place in His hands an injustice you have suffered, He will see that justice is done; if a loss, He will see that you receive compensation; if a pain, He acts as healer; if death, He restores life. How much is granted to patience that it should have God for a debtor!” - Tertullian
Power In Patience
“I have learned that the greatest power is hidden in patience. I see that patience always leads to victory, although not immediately; but that victory will become manifest after many years. Patience is linked to meekness.” – St. Faustina, Divine Mercy in My Soul
There is power in patience. Without patience, we lose so many things that could have been ours. We fail to reach so many dreams. We fall short of accomplishing our heart’s deepest desires.
It is patience that helps us not to settle for lesser things. It is patience that helps us decide in choosing the wiser path. Without it, we choose things that can’t really make us happy. We regret being lost and we lose more time trying to make things right again.
When we wait, we show how strong our faith really is. We also prove the depths of our love.
When we wait, we allow God to work in His own time. The seeds grow. The flowers blossom. And the trees bear fruits full of sweetness and of love.
“But the time is coming quickly, and what I show you will come true. It may seem slow in coming, but wait for it; it will certainly take place, and it will not be delayed.” – Habakkuk 2:3, GNT
“Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.”
-- St. Teresa of Avila
Extraordinary Patience
“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”- Aristotle
Patience is like oil that keeps us from the friction of daily conflict and misunderstanding. Without patience, we easily fall into arguments; we say words we regret sooner or later.
It would have been comforting to believe that the patience we need in our relationships and daily life is but a little patience requiring almost no effort at all. The truth however is that most of the patience we really need is extraordinary.
It is not to our liking to be hindered or criticized. It is not to our liking to be offended or to be continuously interrupted. Whatever patience we exert in order to be silent as we are offended, or to forgive when someone does something contrary to our desires, that is true patience. It is true because we feel it battling with our pride. It is extraordinary because we choose to absorb this suffering instead of inflicting pain or of seeking revenge.
Extraordinary patience is what we need daily to keep our relationships from falling apart.
It keeps conflicts from getting bigger. It smoothens a rough day instead of contributing to discord.
It certainly takes a lot of effort and prayer, but if we could be patient enough, we could support each other in our weaknesses and we could bless our ordinary days with extraordinary love.
“Put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do. Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection.” – Colossians 3:12-14, WEBBE
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“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.” - Psalm 147:3-4
-When you feel broken
-You are God’s beloved
-You can trust His wounded heart
-When God looks at you
-When you look at Jesus
-To forgive and to let go
-Will you ever smile again?
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.” - Psalm 147:3-4
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God bless you!