When you feel that your burdens are just too heavy to bear
Have you ever felt those times when the cross you’re carrying seems heavier than it should be? Much heavier than you can bear? Much heavier than the crosses other people are carrying?
Why do some crosses appear to be far easier? And why do some appear to be so huge and heavy that our trust upon God’s love and justice is shaken to its very core?
We see rich, beautiful people whose only problem seems to be the next orders they’re going to pick from the menu. And then we see beggars who don’t even have a place to sleep at when night falls. We see famous people throwing their money away by gambling. And then we see parents doing back-breaking work day after day, just so they could send their children to school. We see corrupt politicians. And then we see cancer victims, fighting for their next breath, not knowing how they’re going to provide for the family they’re going to leave behind.
Where indeed is fairness in this life? Where is the easy yoke we have been promised to bear? Why a heavier cross to bear?
Have you ever felt those times when the cross you’re carrying seems heavier than it should be? Much heavier than you can bear? Much heavier than the crosses other people are carrying?
Why do some crosses appear to be far easier? And why do some appear to be so huge and heavy that our trust upon God’s love and justice is shaken to its very core?
We see rich, beautiful people whose only problem seems to be the next orders they’re going to pick from the menu. And then we see beggars who don’t even have a place to sleep at when night falls. We see famous people throwing their money away by gambling. And then we see parents doing back-breaking work day after day, just so they could send their children to school. We see corrupt politicians. And then we see cancer victims, fighting for their next breath, not knowing how they’re going to provide for the family they’re going to leave behind.
Where indeed is fairness in this life? Where is the easy yoke we have been promised to bear? Is God already playing favorites here? Why a heavier cross to bear?
Oftentimes, when people start asking these questions, the only response they get is something like one of these:
“God works in mysterious ways.”
“Stop that! You’re doubting God’s wisdom.”
“See? There is really no God who guides His people. Either He isn’t real, or He isn’t really good.”
I would not be content with those answers though. There must be some answers more satisfying than those.
Following are some of the answers I believe in:
1. We don’t really know the burden other people are carrying
People may appear happy on the outside, but they may actually be crying terribly within. However well-off they appear to be, secret hurts may just be tearing them apart.
Never ever believe instantly the external strengths you see, the smiles that greet your eyes. For sometimes, beneath those smiles are tears, and beneath that strength is a yearning to break out and to be understood.
Do we see people who earn more in a day than what we could possibly earn in a year? Do we see people who look so happily established in their married lives? Do we see healthy people who can do whatever they want to do be it mountain climbing or spelunking or sky diving? Do we see them and envy them and wish so hard we were the ones in their shoes?
The fact is that there are some things we don’t really see. We don’t see consciences being seared just so money can be earned and ambitions can be reached. We don’t see hearts crying out in loneliness amidst all the external blessings the world believes them to possess.
We don’t see many things. Surely not the things people wanted to hide. They are the only ones who know the true weight of the crosses that they bear.
2. We sometimes carry crosses that are not ours
If you feel you’re carrying so much more burden than you could possibly bear, pause for a while and ponder whether the cross you’re carrying is your own cross and not another one’s burden.
Ask yourself, “Is this cross the one God wants me to bear? Or is this suffering something I have only insisted on inflicting upon myself?”
There are many crosses we insist on carrying, loads we were not supposed to carry in the first place. Due to our stubbornness, however, we refuse to let them go.
We refuse to forgive the people who have hurt us because we do not believe they deserve to be forgiven. We refuse to forget our past wounds because we want to get even with those who have caused us pain. We refuse to lay our burdens on God because we don’t trust Him enough to believe everything will be taken care of. Sometimes we even refuse to let other people carry their own crosses because we believe we are the only ones capable of doing the right thing.
Carry only your own cross, my friend. That is all that is asked of you.
3. We do not see that our crosses are in proportion to the strength given us
We may be carrying a far bigger cross upon our shoulders, but have we ever cared to know the resources given us to be able to carry that cross? We were so busy comparing the size of our cross with our neighbor’s, but have we ever cared to compare the strength we have with the strength that they possess?
My friend, the cross given you is in direct proportion to your strength. The pain you bear is in direct proportion to the tolerance that you possess. We may be carrying different kinds of burdens, but we cannot say that the difficulties we encounter are far different from the troubles others are going through.
Are you in pain? So am I. Were you hurt? So have I. But you can never say you were more hurt than I have been because you have never ever been me, not even for a single moment.
You do not have my weaknesses. You do not have my strengths. I do not have the wealth of your previous experiences. And I do not have the people who support you in your hour of need.
Stop comparing one another’s crosses because there is no way that we can really be able to compare them.
4. We do not avail of the strength being offered by God to help us carry our cross
There are many times when all that we can see are the huge crosses we carry upon our shoulders. We see how weak we are. We see how tired and exhausted we have been. But we do not see God’s hand reaching out to help us. We do not see the strength being offered us when our own powers are no longer enough.
Maybe our financial condition is just enough to feed one child, but just when we’re least expecting it, another one comes along contrary to what we have planned. Maybe we feel so alone, and the only person who has ever been there to support us suddenly leaves, never ever to return. We feel helpless and broken. And we do not have the strength anymore to face the challenges that come our way.
It is during these times that we should keep our hopes up and believe that a Higher Power will see us through.
Help will come just in time, just when we needed it, just when we have given our last ounce of strength.
You may think of how limited your resources are at the moment, but a better opportunity may already be on its way. You may think you’ve lost everyone who has ever cared for you, and yet the one who will love you as you’ve never been loved before may just be standing outside the door, knocking, hoping you would just let him in.
There is a God who watches over us, and who sends His angels before us to guard us and to guide us along the path He has prepared for us. He will never let us down. He will not give us crosses too heavy for us to bear. And just when we think our crosses are getting bigger, He will give us more strength, more power than we believed we could ever possess.
So just hang in there a minute more. Hope. Believe in miracles. They can still happen today.
5. We see no purpose in carrying our crosses
“Then Jesus said to his disciples, “‘If anyone desires to come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.’” (Matthew 16:24, WEB-BE)
“Follow me.” That’s what Jesus said. And in following Him, we are to forget ourselves and carry our crosses. Our primary goal would be to follow Jesus, not just to carry our cross.
Have you ever had such a great drive to achieve a dream? A drive so great you are tremendously inspired to reach for your dream whatever sacrifices you may have to make along the way? Have you ever had such a loved one, someone so special you were willing to undergo hell itself just so you can always be with the person?
It’s the same with carrying our crosses. Carrying our burden is merely incidental to our true goal. We must be passionate enough, enamored enough, enthralled, captivated, and powerfully moved in following our life mission that it doesn’t matter whatever difficulties may come along. We know we could overcome anything because the prize ahead is worth far more than the sacrifices we’d make along the way.
We have to know our purpose and our destiny. Otherwise, we would just be focusing on our crosses, complaining about how heavy and difficult they are.
It is only in being driven towards our utmost passions and desires that we are able to forget ourselves and bear the burdens that come along with it.
Final thoughts
The crosses that come our way were never meant to hinder us from reaching our God-given destiny. They were meant to help us and strengthen us so we can be the kind of persons we are supposed to be.
The greater our cross, the greater also is the opportunity and the gift attached to it, if only we could take our eyes off our suffering for a moment, and see the blessings being poured upon us in the process.
“No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” (1 Cor. 10:13, WEB-BE)
“Come to me, all you who labour and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”(Matthew 11:28–30, WEB-BE)
God bless!