Why Is the Cross of LGBTQ People Unique?
Being gay and one’s special path to holiness
Many don’t realize the kind of cross LGBTQ people are carrying in life.
While many would like to keep an open mind and avoid being judgmental, gay people are still not seen as the unique people they truly are.
The cross that gay people carry isn’t the same cross that married people or those in religious life bear. It isn’t even the same with the cross of non-LGBTQ single people. It is something else. Something we must try to understand deeper if we’re ever going to give them love, respect and compassion.
Here are some of the things that can help us understand the unique cross of LGBTQ people:
1. It’s a very lonely cross to bear
While some gay people do get married (to the opposite sex), many will not have partners they can be with for life.
Further, those with “deep-seated” homosexual tendencies are also not admitted to the Holy Orders using the Criteria for the Discernment of Vocations:
“…the Church, while profoundly respecting the persons in question, cannot admit to the seminary or to holy orders those who practise homosexuality, present deep-seated homosexual tendencies or support the so-called ‘gay culture’”. — Congregation for Catholic Education
It’s a very lonely cross for our gay brothers and sisters. Most single non-LGBTQ people still hope to get married someday and they can even be called to religious life later on. But for their gay counterparts, other people must understand how lonely it must be to stand on their own for life.
As a single person, I sometimes feel lost about my vocation and role within the Church. (I wrote about this more in my article “Being Single as a Vocation to Love”.) How much more those who are part of the LGBTQ?
2. It affects their identity
Fr. Mike Schmidtz has differentiated our sense of identity with our experiences. In a way, he tries to give this perspective that we shouldn’t allow our experiences to define who we are.
But how should LGBTQ people define themselves when they often mistake their identity as that of being “disordered”?
In my article “This One Word Drives LGBTQ People Away From the Church”, I have discussed how the Church can better help gay people find their unique path in life.
It isn’t enough to tell people the temptations they should avoid. They should also know who they are. Yes, they were made in the image and likeness of God. But in what way?
“If you and I try to define ourselves by anything less than who we truly are it will always end up in heartbreak… it will always end up in pain.” — Fr. Mike Schmitz
3. It burdens them with a feeling of shame
This is a common experience of gay people. Even without doing any sinful act, they feel shame just for being who they are. They are burdened with the shame of their homosexual tendencies.
4. It affects their perspective on love
How do you begin to love when even your natural instinct to love has been marred with these “disordered” tendencies?
Other people may not realize how this affects the entire life of a person. Because this isn’t only about abstaining from sex. It’s about your romantic attractions and desires. It’s about the dreams you can have and the kind of life you can look forward to.
Bearing your unique cross in life
LGBTQ people have a unique cross to bear in life. If they have been allowed these trials and tendencies, I would like to believe that they are also being given unique opportunities and blessings.
“The law came in that the trespass might abound; but where sin abounded, grace abounded more exceedingly, that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” — Romans 5:20–21, WEBBE
“If you are a homosexual, you bear a unique cross. I can no more tell you why you bear this particular cross than why I must wear a leg brace and a back brace. Or why some people must battle with alcoholism. Or why Jesus, the Son of God who came to live among us, had to suffer the indignities, humiliation, and pain that He did. You should harbor no guilt for the cross you bear. You should not feel shame. You are a human being, made in the image and likeness of God. Your cross happens to be homosexuality.”
- Mother Angelica’s Answers, Not Promises
Do you have any questions to God? You may want to take a look at my book “Questions to God” — click here.
You may also want to read:
Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief
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Jocelyn Soriano is a Catholic devotional writer and poet. Aside from Medium, she also writes at I Take Off the Mask and Single Catholic Writer.
Thank you for writing this