Would I Be Happier as a Single Person?

As a single person who is already in my forties, I have often encountered various kinds of advice from people who seem to be concerned about my happiness. The advice range from urging me to go out on dates to lowering my standard on the type of man I’d like to marry.

While I cannot take away the goodwill of most people, I must admit that there are times when I felt affected by their words. It’s as though the state I’m currently living in as a single person is a deplorable one and that I should do everything in my power to escape it.

Is there no happiness at all in being single? It seems that the world has already judged my own happiness by thinking that I could only be happy if I marry or if I enter religious life.

After listening to Fr. Mike’s “Bible in a Year” podcast, however, my attention was turned into a Bible passage that made me realize something about being single.

“A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I have the Spirit of God.” — 1 Corinthians 7:39–40, RSV-CE

St. Paul’s advice to virgins and to married people has given me so much insight about the state of life that I’m currently living in.

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman or girl is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” — 1 Corinthians 7:32–35, RSV-CE

Verse after verse told me how blessed I am for being single. And not only that. The Bible passages told me I would be happier that way! 

While the world has told me to be sad all along, the Lord has given me a blessed state of life where I could be happy.

Of course other people have their own reserved states in life. Some would be happier as married people while others would be far happier being a nun or a priest. But their happiness shouldn’t in any way lessen my happiness. God knows me most and He has give me a special place also in His heart.

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