The traditionalist Charles Coulombe (who is also an unmarried layperson) also talked about this. So I know it's just some modernist thing.
That said, there's definitely a temptation for single Catholics to justify their desire to remain untethered from obligation (whether that be marriage or the religious life). I'm not saying you or Coulombe or anyone in particular are doing this. In fact, I'm speaking as a single person myself. But I think that's why people (especially trad types) are very touchy about singles (or "incels" in Internet speak).
I live in a spiritual community (Ananda Village) that has plenty of singles and plenty of married couples and that *also* has householder and formal renunciate paths for both (the married renunciates are celibate, though some had children prior to taking vows). Among these combinations, the single formal renunciates are the fewest in number, meaning there are plenty of other singles who are not pursuing relationships at all and yet serve as actively as the formal renunciates.
What we've really come to understand is that true renunciation and vocations are callings of the heart, not defined for outer forms and formalizations. In that spirit, all of us who have chosen a spiritually-focused lifestyle and who put God above all else are renunciates; some simply want to take the step of formalizing that inner commitment, but that doesn't make them better *or* worse than those who don't. It's simply an option for how they want to express that part of their relationship to God.
The traditionalist Charles Coulombe (who is also an unmarried layperson) also talked about this. So I know it's just some modernist thing.
That said, there's definitely a temptation for single Catholics to justify their desire to remain untethered from obligation (whether that be marriage or the religious life). I'm not saying you or Coulombe or anyone in particular are doing this. In fact, I'm speaking as a single person myself. But I think that's why people (especially trad types) are very touchy about singles (or "incels" in Internet speak).
I live in a spiritual community (Ananda Village) that has plenty of singles and plenty of married couples and that *also* has householder and formal renunciate paths for both (the married renunciates are celibate, though some had children prior to taking vows). Among these combinations, the single formal renunciates are the fewest in number, meaning there are plenty of other singles who are not pursuing relationships at all and yet serve as actively as the formal renunciates.
What we've really come to understand is that true renunciation and vocations are callings of the heart, not defined for outer forms and formalizations. In that spirit, all of us who have chosen a spiritually-focused lifestyle and who put God above all else are renunciates; some simply want to take the step of formalizing that inner commitment, but that doesn't make them better *or* worse than those who don't. It's simply an option for how they want to express that part of their relationship to God.